July 29th, 2002


dedicated to amiee & amanda.

So my friends are going crazy these days. Spending 21 years in a small, hick town will do that to you. I loved growing up there, and I don't think I'd have it any other way. I mean, they will probably think I am going crazy for saying that, but seriously life for us was so easy and fun. We never worried about someone kidnapping us, because you knew everyone and if there was a stranger you definitely didn't talk to him/her. That was pounded in my head. I started running around all over town when I was like eleven years old. I would never let my child do that. Of course there was really nothing to do, but we would find something. Even if it was playing in the cemetary, reading the names of dead people. What the hell were we thinking? As we grew older we started to get into more things. Getting money from parents and calling people from the internet down at the McDonalds pay phone. We were suppose to be eating. (We were only like 13 when we did this, and the internet was the new thing..we had no idea about the freaks out there...we just got lucky I guess. I swear..we'd give out any information to just about anyone and talk on the phone to like everyone we met. I wouldn't think of doing that now. I was so naive.) Spraying hair spray on the road and lighting it on fire. Running from the cops, because of curfew. Sneaking out. Smashing people's pumpkins at halloween. It sounds like we were bad kids...but everyone has their stories. It's a good thing our parents never found out, or we'd get the hell beat out of us. Parents need to get more violent with their kids these days. I shouldn't say "violent", because I'm sure that could be taken the wrong way. Just spank your damn kid. I hate parents that let their kids run the house. I was scared of what my mom could do to me, she'd beat my ass! haha. My mom was also very understanding and I could talk to her about anything. She wasn't anti everything and remembered that she was also my age once...but I also knew their were consequences for some things. I am going to be that kind of parent. It worked quite well with me anyways. We went through all the boyfriends and break ups together. The first kisses together and eventually sex. I first had sex when I was 16, and that sounds so young now...but at the time I thought I was so old. I was so ignorant. lol. The sex came about when Amanda had sex first and I wanted to be just like her. I mean we even had it planned to have it on the same night, but she went and did it first! How immature was I?
That cracks me up every time I think about it. We went through one traumatic death together, and then a couple followed later. We all got our "beater" cars basically at the same time. Started smoking around the same time. Actually, Amanda and Rachel got me started. I was only 16 then too. I just went to hell when I turned 16 I guess. haha. We had fights, but not many. We had jealousy, but not too often. We had each other all the time...and we took it for granted. Now that we arent around each other all the time, its like memory lane. Life was great back then, and it still is today....but what I wouldn't do sometimes to go back in time and be stupid with my best friends. No one else gets our humor, our "inside" jokes...and I doubt that anyone else really knows us like we do. We were girls that grew up in a close minded town, with nothing to do, no where to go, but some how found sanity between us. There is no way I would change growing up there. I never moved or had to make new friends. I know that the best smell in the world is when grass has just been mowed....and I know that there will always be a huge part of me there and with them. We will always have a bond like no other, no matter where we are at.
So, when you guys are sitting there going crazy...just think of Burl making yah laugh and all the memories.

ps: that entry made me cry. look what you two do to me. lol.
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