July 8th, 2002



I am so bored. I have many things I should be doing I guess..but I am so lazy these days. I need to start doing some form of exercise before I die of a heart attack. I have applied for all of these jobs..and no one is calling. Isn't that nice? ugh. I'd like to know why I don't get hired, but they hire all kinds of skanks? I guess I'm not going to get anywhere in this world with out college 'eh? I don't understand the whole concept of college anyways..b/c I don't even remember anything I learn, and you have to take these classes that you don't even need and its just pointless. I can do almost any job if I put my mind to it. No wonder service around here sucks, because everyone here hires skanks who don't give a shit about their job. I get so irritated about this job stuff.
I've been having some weird feelings about Justin lately. I feel like he doesn't want to be with me, like he's sick of me and bored. Sometimes I don't even feel close to him at all and that annoys the heck out of me. Maybe this is part of being married, who knows? I guess we have just been taking each other for granted lately...but I don't like feeling this way. I guess we are just going to have to talk about this whole thing tonight. My mind is going crazy...ugh. I can tell I'm going to start my monthly love next week...eeeek. watch out its pms week. :)
  • Current Music
    escape - rupert holmes


ahh. i feel so much better right now. I cooked dinner, which wasn't very good and dug up change to go to sonic for an ice cream. I think it was just what I needed! I then had some fun with Justin and took a hot bath. My neck feels a lot better b/c of that bath. I am now drinking coffee at almost 9 pm...thats not good is it? lol.
I talked with Justin about how I was feeling and he proceeded to tell me it was because of this: I am always outside or on this computer, which is the truth...so I decided to stay in for the most part tonight...but he is watching the home run derby right now, so I will leave him be. I honestly dont know what was wrong with me today..I felt like I couldn't move b/c I was so tired. I told Justin that if I didn't feel better after I ate I wanted to be taken to the hospital and he still wanted me to go even after I told him I felt a little better, but I'm not one to go to the hospital unless I actually feel like I'm going to die. lol. It takes a lot to get me there. I need to exercise for real, I think maybe that is my problem. I just sit here. eeeeeeeeeek. oh and by the way...don't take anything I say too seriously this week because of my pms. rofl..and I'm so not kidding. I can start thinking up some crazy shit and getting psychotic. I scare myself b/c I start to think I'm going insane. Justin found some Oakleys today...they look far better on me. ;)

****Name Survey****

These Names Remind You Of... *********

Jack: from dawsons creek. i like the name *jackson.
James: my neighbor.
Chris: amiee's neighbor.
Heather: my best friend in like 5th grade.
Ryan: phillips..and this other guy I worked with.
Samantha: i love this name...the little girl I used to babysit.
Beth: huber. went to school w/her.
Danny: ginny's boyfriend and dan putnam. whooo.
Kelly: my dads last name is Kelley..and then there is kelly kapowski. :)
Stephanie: my neighbors ex g/f.
Michelle: ?? a beatles song.
Stacy: a girl my mom works with.
Theresa: justin has an aunt theresa.
Russell: justin's cousin.
Jacob: a girl I used to know..that is her baby's name.
Phillip: one of my uncles names.
Jake: a guy i knew that could play the guitar and was sooo awesome at it.
Adam: a kid i used to babysit.
BrianBryan: one of justins friends.
Nick: hmm. ?
Sarah: a really annoying girl i used to know.
Richard: an exes uncle.
Troy: i have no clue. reminds me of mythology. lol