July 2nd, 2002


today. July 2, 2002.

I need to be doing like a billion things right now..but here I sit on this computer. I have looked into online school some more, read a lot of journal entries, and smoked too much and its almost noon. I think I'll make a list of things that are occupying my mind right now.
** I need to call Tricare and make an appointment and they probably wont have anything like usual.
** I need to wash the dishes in the sink. make my bed. dust. scrub the floors. clean the bathroom. vacuum. fun, fun!!! ugh.
** Take a bath.
** Eat something..probably a hot dog.
** Find something to have for dinner..probably something easy.
** Laundry. which I probably will do tomorrow.
** Justin's friends are coming, so I must prepare to have my house taken over.
** Write more..I haven't wrote anything productive in my real journal in forever.
** read a book.
** send Morgan's package.
** I need like 3508 things at the store. like more clorox ready mop pads & a fake ivy plant in a basket to put on my new shelf.
** Finally, remember all the other things I need to do..b/c right now I can't think.

Yesterday, I didn't have a very productive and nice day. It sucked for the most part. I had a dream that night that I had met my father and that occupied my mind the entire morning and I spent all my time on the internet searching for something..and all I can get is an address and phone number. I don't want to talk to him, I just want to know things about him...with out him knowing. That sounds weird, but its how I feel. I should really give a shit less about him right? Well, I wish I could feel that way..but I'm afraid its just not who I am. I go through stages where I think about him constantly, just because I'm curious and then there are other times when I don't think of him at all. My mom was the best and I'm just going to be thankful for her and my step dad...he didn't have to be anything to me and he was so I am always grateful to him. So that darkened my day some...
By the time I got off the internet yesterday it was already like 2:30pm...I didn't realize this so I was pissed off because I had got nothing done at all! I got too wrapped up into everything else. Justin was to be home at 4pm, so I just took a bath and made things look presentable...but ugh I hate that my house isn't like spotless to me. It gets on my last nerve..but I have like no energy or motivation this week. Well I'm done rambling on about nothing..I meant to post last night about my bad day..but I was really pissy and just needed some sleep.
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) What's your desktop wallpaper? colors.

2) What's in your pockets? no pockets in these shorts.

3) Who do you miss? too many people. I miss Morgan a lot..yesterday was her 2nd birthday. :(

4) What did you do this morning? woke up. cleaned.

5) What song are you listening to right now? the t.v.

6) What are some of the lyrics? some nelly stuff is going on I guess. ?

7) Do you play an instrument? in 5th grade I played the clarinet..and that was the end of that.

8) Who's your best friend? Amanda & Amiee.

9) What's the last thing you drank? Apple Juice.

10) What's the last thing you ate? a hot dog.

11) Did you ever lie to get ahead? I'm sure I have..but i don't tend to lie.

12) What do you want to be when you grow up? a mommy.

13) Who's your favourite singer(s)? Jewel.

14) What kind of music do you like? all kinds.

15) What was/is your childhood like? fun, fun, fun, and I want to go back and play with my barbies. :)

16) Who's your favourite band? too many.

17) What's your favourite song? angel standing by -jewel, november rain -gnr, wild horses-rolling stones...ugh I have too many.

18) What's the worst thing anyone's ever done to you? made me feel like total shit.

19) Have you ever felt used? hahaha. too many times.

20) Do you know who you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Who? yes. Justin.