March 30th, 2002


time after time...another survey!!

15 Years Ago: I was 6 years old. My brother would only be 3 months old and I was totally obsessed with him...and I was chasing boys on the playground that were in my kindergarten class!

10 Years Ago: I was 11. I think i was in 5th grade..if so I was in love w/this brandon guy..and karyn was always a bitch to me.

5 Years Ago: I was 16. having the time of my life..and started smoking :( this was also the time when i met sneed and rachel.

1 Year Ago: I was 20. probably sitting in the same place I am now. saddens me.

Today: I am 21. bored out of my freakin mind..and feeling very odd.

Tomorrow: Is probably gonna be another boring day..or wait it is 12:30 in the ACTUALLY tomorrow will be easter! i'll be eating!

Five Items I Have Brand Loyalty To: 1. cigs (bad) 2. soda (bad) 3. asprin (cuz i have too many headaches) 4. pinapple juice (cuz its awesome in alcohol) 5. tampons (what would yah do w/out them?)

Five Games I Like: 1. Solitaire 2. Rummy (sp?) 3. other than that I hate games, oh wait. i like Mario for nintendo..but thats it.

Five Snacks I Enjoy: 1.pickles 2.apples 3.strawberries 4.cinnamon toast 5.salsa

Five Songs I Know the Words to, Even Without Music: 1. "who will save your soul" -Jewel 2. "I shoulda been a cowboy" -toby keith 3. "the one" -shakira 4. "november rain" -gnr 5. every single jewel song. :)

Five Things I Can't Live Without: lemme re-word this..5 things I dont want to live without. k:
1. Justin 2. My family 3. My friends 4. writing 5. computer.

Five Things I'd Buy With $1000: wtf. y the limit? 1. new computer 2. new couch 3. clothes 4. tanning 5. gazelle

Top Five Guilty Pleasures: 1. sleeping in 2. cooking network 3. the real sex show on hbo (its funny!) 4. sweat pants 5. no make up days.

Top Five Locations I Want to Run Away to: 1. Italy 2. England 3. France 4. San Diego 5. home.

Five Things I'd Never Wear: 1. bikini 2. short shorts 3. tube tops 4. spandex 5. stirrup pants.

Five Animals I Like: 1. doggies 2. horses 3. cats are okay I guess 4. piggies 5. monkeys

Five Television Shows I Like: 1. Dawsons Creek 2. Felicity (but its ending) 3. Friends 4. Mad about You 5. i like that bachelor show thats on now.
  • Current Music

angel standing by......

***Some people come into our lives and quicky go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart. And we are never, ever the same. ***

I had an interesting morning. first of all the power went out. so i cleaned. power came back on. so i took a bath...and outta nowhere I started thinking about Paul. Now this isnt normal, since I havent thought about him in a looong time. I tend to block that from my memory. Mainly, b/c the memory I most think about is the worst. So..I started thinking about how much fun I had then. I had no worries. I just had my friends and they were like everything to me..i mean they still are but then it was like everyday I just "had" to be w/them..yah know. So there I was thinking about all that had happened and I realized it was his birthday the other day. (28th) I had totally forgotten about that. I mean 6 years have past since then..I cant believe its been that long b/c sometimes it feels like it only happened yesterday...i guess thats kinda a contradiction..but its how i feel.
Amiee was talking about Bobby being down and all this stuff and I still didnt even think about it. I guess I kinda feel bad about forgetting, but then again I cant remember everything. I used to blame the whole incident on myself, even though I know how stupid that sounds now, but I was only 15..and I didnt understand anything then. I put it in my head that if I would have actually "talked" that night instead of being all "shy" we would have been together and it would have never happened -the end- I know that everything happens for a reason, it was his time to go and there was nothing I could have ever done to stop that. I really don't know how to put this all down, b/c so much is going through my head right now about him. when i first met him, talking on the phone every night, my first kiss, seeing him w/other girls, riding w/him in that big ass car, and finally seeing him at school...and then the next thing I knew..he was gone...and I had to sit in that tiny room and look at him in that casket and it didnt even look like him. Its tramatizing when you are so young to have to go through that, and for the next couple years when someone said his name...all i could think was "it doesnt even look like him" over and over again. 6 years..i keep thinking did time go by that fast? I still to this day wish I could bring him back, not for me, but for his mom, family, and the friends he was close to...and so he could have a life and experience things like i do. I am so blessed and I just wish most people would realize the same..b/c tomorrow it could really all be over on earth. i like to believe that hes up in heaven, an angel, watching over all of us...and in some wierd way I like to think that maybe he had something to do w/a lot of things that has happened to us in our lives..
  • Current Music
    much too young to feel this damn old --garth brooks